No doubt a large number of us has seen the rom com starring Mel Gibson (now somewhat disgraced, but at the time of the release of the film, he was generally considered to be hot property by most women, so an appropriate lead for this box office hit). Gibson, aka Nick Marshall, plays a chauvinistic womaniser who, after slipping in the bath whilst holding a hairdryer (pure Oscar material!), discovers he is able to read women’s thoughts. OK, the hairdryer part may be a bit lame, but the concept is one which all of us has wished for at some point in time. As Gibson’s therapist in the movie says, “If Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, and you can speak Venutian, the world can be yours.”

The chances of any of us obtaining Nick Marshall’s powers are remote to say the least, and we at 2Shy2Ask would certainly not recommend you try reenacting the hairdryer/bath scene  - it’s just not going to work, trust us. What we can do, however, is fill you in on some research which hopefully will give you some helpful pointers as to what women want. So here goes, in no particular order:

Good Looks – without a doubt, we are all attracted to good looks. What qualifies as ‘good looks’ is a very personal thing (beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and all that), however we can say with confidence that women are initially attracted to good looking people. Beauty on the outside does not necessarily mean that the inside is beautiful too and when weighing up the two, we guarantee it’ll be inner beauty that wins the fair maiden.

Sense of Humour – being able to make girls laugh (and by this we mean with you, not at you) is a winning skill when it comes to appealing to the other sex (or anyone for that matter). You don’t have to be head-lining at the Apollo, but being naturally funny will be a big point scorer and will stand you in good stead for the future.

Talent – there are not many things that are as sexy as raw talent. Someone can be pretty average looking, but if they can play guitar like Bryan May (a case in point!), or sing and perform like Freddie Mercury (need I say more!), then all of a sudden girls are flocking around them like bees to honey. If you are good-looking AND talented, then you have it made, the world is your Oyster.

Money – without a doubt, money is a big motivator for some women. My niece, who is now 32 and single, claims she is holding out for a rich, older man to come along. The idea of being kept may well fill all the independent women out there with extreme distaste, but not all women are that moralistic. There are plenty who would give their right eye to be ‘kept’, to be ‘ladies what lunch’, so if you have some sizeable  bank balances, the chances are you will not struggle to bag yourself a babe. Just don’t expect it to be a deep and meaningful relationship.

Trust – trust is normally high up on the wish list of women. It takes a very long time to build up and can be destroyed irrevocably in the blink of an eye. To truly trust someone is understandably the making of a great relationship as trust normally carries with it other noble qualities and feelings such as respect, kindness, empathy. If you have earned someone’s trust, look after it. Appreciate that it is a fragile thing which needs to be tended and cared for, not taken for granted. It is a great and valuable thing.

Kindness – many women look for kindness in a man, however, just as many seem to hunt out the meanies. None of us here can really understand the whole ‘being attracted to bad boys’ thing. Do these girls grow up thinking “I really want to find a man who will treat me badly, show me no respect and generally go out of his way to make me miserable”? All very odd, but they seem to exist in their thousands. More wholesome kindness for the rest of us!

Hopefully, we’ve given you an insight into what ticks a woman’s box, or at least provided you with a good starting point for your next date conversation.

Ladies, keep a look out for our next blog entry, What Men Want…

My partner and I have spent many a happy evening hunting down my G-spot, and whilst the search has always been fun, sadly, despite many years of trying, we have failed entirely in its location. I had heard great things about the We-Vibe II being an excellent G-spot and …

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My husband and I were enjoying a quiet peruse of The Boudoir site, looking for a new Vibrator to enjoy when we came across the Fun Factory Delight. Being a complete sucker for anything beautiful, I was immedi…

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OK, I’m probably more impatient than the average person and this trait/failing has resulted in my never taking up an instrument (I would have loved to have played piano, but couldn’t bare the thought of the hours of practice required to get anywhere near half-decent), and is a regular cause for tears at the table when trying to help my young children grasp phonics or reading. Why does it take so long for them to pick it up? As for playing golf, well three hours is just far too long to get to the finish line.

So, for someone like me, speed dating certainly holds great appeal – meet a group of potential partners in a room in one fell swoop, have a quick chat (usually 3 to 4 minutes as this seems to be the right length of time to form a relatively accurate opinion about someone, and is also sufficiently short to ‘suffer’ a brief conversation with someone who just isn’t your type!) and make up your mind in no time at all as to whether there’s potential or not. Then move on. If you have a strong ‘gut-feel’ and have found yourself stranded in a date situation where you want to escape, but don’t want to come across as rude, then you might find the speed dating is the perfect solution.

It seems that the balance is tipped in favour of speed dating. A recent survey undertaken by the BBC showed that, from a survey base of over 11,000 people, 58 % of respondents would attend a speed dating event versus the 42 % who said they would not. We don’t find this surprising at all and anticipate there being a significant growth in the market as time pressures increase more and more.

It is an approach to dating that seems to appeal to all sorts of people of all ages. There’s no music to shout over, no need to set up a call from a friend at a certain time to get you out of a date should it go wrong, there’s no lengthy personal profile to complete, just the opportunity to let your personality shine through for 4 minutes, up to 20 times in one evening.

What preparations do you need to make to help your speed dating be a successful use of your precious time? Well, bear in mind that your potential partner’s responses will be largely determined by the questions you ask, so make them as open-ended and as interesting as possible. If you ask ‘What’s your favourite hobby’, you can pretty much bet that that question has been asked half a dozen times that evening so the likelihood of a creative, characteristic-enlightening response will be slim. Be inventive and different! It’ll be sure to make you stand out from the crown.

The other thing – make sure you’re full of energy. These events are demanding and exhausting, so keep hydrated and eat healthily beforehand to give yourself a fighting chance.

Go on, give it a go and let us know how you get on.

Discretion is of utmost importance to me when it comes to choosing a sex toy. I have a busy household with 3 children and a job that takes me away a couple of nights a month during which time I like to enjoy a long leisurely bath in peace and an indulgent play with my vibrator at the end of the working day.I am not keen on either the person adj…

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Logic would dictate that as a potential life long partner it wouldn’t necessarily give off the best message if you appeared willing to give it up on a first meet. The biggest implication is that you tend to do this on a regular basis with people you don’t know very well, which has inherent risks and perhaps character traits that your first date wouldn’t want from a regular partner. A care free sexual nature doesn’t communicate a considered nature or somebody who is necessarily wants a lasting commitment which isn’t what you want if your first date is going well and your prospective partner appears to be a great match. Likewise if you were sexually propositioned on a first date and didn’t intend to take the step the message is that you are ok for a shag but not necessarily marriage material. Respect and boundaries are the order of the day and getting to know one another before indulging in the physical act can only help to strengthen the beginnings of a serious relationship. It’s not so much that sex on a first date is morally wrong but when you don’t know somebody that well it can send the wrong messages and indeed end the beginnings of a beautiful relationship.

Each couple are very different and instinct should dictate when is the best time to make a move. This can be difficult if the physical attraction is very strong. Sex on a second date is fine if you have spend an evening together and the communication between you is clearly one of mutual interest and a strong desire to commit on some level. Remember that mental stimulation is just as important as physical desire and taking time to get to know your date is an important part of getting turned on!

Following on from our previous topic the 4 stages of Female arousal and looking at the arousal stage itself, we move on to the next level of pleasure, the plateau. The term seems to suggest a point at which no progress in p…

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He was young, fit looking and attractive, with a warm smile. He held eye contact, but not leeringly so, and stood close enough, but not too close. He was ticking the boxes so far. However the group of friends he was with were obviously in on the ‘chat-up’ too as they were all watching the proceedings with avid interest, grinning from ear to ear, ready to cheer if he ‘pulled’, and we imagined, cheer even louder if he failed!

Back at our table, our debate as to his chosen pick up line continued and we decided to have a bet. He looked pretty experienced, and not the type to select one of the cheesier lines. One of the girls thought he’d go for a funny approach and suggested “Do you have any raisins? How about a date then?” as her bid. Another of our girls thought he’d go for something more romantic, deciding that his eyes were too focused on her to be smarmy or witty. Her bet was that he would go for something like “Did the sun come out, or did you just smile at me?”. There were a few votes for the more common “what’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this” line and one girl plumped for the more intelligent, survey type question, along the lines of “I’m completing a questionnaire and I need your help with a few questions…what’s your name, what’s your telephone number and are you free tomorrow night?”.

Finally, our girl friend came back to the table with our drinks, smiling broadly. She’d obviously enjoyed herself, so whatever had passed between them, it had been fun. By the looks he was giving his mates, he’d had a good time too. So, want to know what the lines was? He’d asked “I’ve heard that women can only put mascara on with their mouth open, is this true?”. Definitely an entertaining opener. Whilst not particularly original, because it’s slightly funny and engaging, our mate found that she had no urge to put up any of the normal barriers that we automatically reach for when being obviously chatted up. It wasn’t cheesy or threatening in anyway, and was completely not what she expected, so she found herself warming to him and enjoying his company, rather than being turned off by blatant cheese.

We all continued to debate the success of chat up lines and what types work versus those that are absolute turn-offs. Our conclusion was that cheese rarely does it for any of us, however the more intelligent and entertaining, the better.  Certainly, it’s nice to be found attractive and a little flirting at the bar is great for the ego. It’s even better if the person doing the chatting up comes across as bright, witty, fun and creative.

We’d love to hear your experiences of chat-up lines – those that have been successful and those that have made you cringe.

None of us could really understand why the right girl hadn’t come along. He had a wide circle of friends, worked for a business that resulted in him meeting new people all the time, went out of his way at weekends to do group sporting events and generally be out and about. This, coupled with his general good looks and attractive personality made the lack of love even more perplexing.

Finally, having seen a close friend find a partner using online dating, my friend decided that he would give it a go. Sure enough, after a few false starts, he met his future wife and oh my word, what a perfect couple they make!

When you think about it, it’s hard to see how online dating can fail. Assuming both parties are honest in their completion of their personal profiles, and understand themselves sufficiently to know what they are looking for in their ideal mate, job’s a good’un!

So, now my lovely friend has found a cracker of a girl and has tied the knot. Better still, they announced during the wedding speech that their two will be three come September. Perfect! This latest bit of news has put pay to their many planned honeymoon sporting activities in New Zealand – no bungee jumping or diving for the newly weds now. Still, these are small sacrifices to make.

May the best of their pasts be the worst of their futures!